Idol or Crush?

Good afternoon readers

In this post, I would like to share to you guys a little anecdote of my life, specifically my university life. I haven't exposing them a long time ago (as it's personal) but never mind, this time I will.

It's been a year, 5 months and 16 days I'm studying in UTeM. Starting from 31st May 2015, where I registered as Diploma in IT(DIT) student until now I'm on my 2nd year. A year left remaining before I graduate. I joined Semester Khas Permulaan(SKP) from Jun 2015 to August 2015 then started my first semester on September 2015. The first week was when Minggu Haluan Siswa(MHS) was held, where normal freshman orientation began before class started.

Okay, back to the title of my post,
During orientation, I met this man. Who? be patient guys, let me tell you how first. That time was lunch hour where we are served by food but my friends and I went to the kooperasi to buy snacks as we were distracted by the cooked chicken served to one of my friend was a bit smelly. We lost our appetite and decided to buy something else as substitution. The man asked me why we weren't at the cafe eating lunch. I straightly answered him the truth, not knowing who he was. We thought he was just a regular student or senior in the university. Then, I saw he called someone reporting what we told him. We ignored and headed back to the cafe.

The next or a few day, we had this activity called LDK where freshmen were divided into groups and leaded by a few facilitators to play various games. The same man came to my group and talked to me (not enough time recalling what it is, I have class after this) but the point is, I didn't remember he was the guy from the kooperasi. Don't blame me, I'm born to hardly memorizing things. I'm bad at recognizing faces, memorizing notes (which is one of the reason why I hate History subject). I was recalling who he was, he spoke to us and held the game. As I was startled (as he talked to me) and distracted that I could not focus, I lost the game earlier. I didn't speak. I was speechless.

 I tried to find out who he was actually and found out he was Yang Di-Pertua(YDP) for Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar(MPP) or in English known as the president of Student Representative Council. I know it was crazy, I didn't expect he was someone very important. He did give a speech during orientation session, but I couldn't recognize it was him (due to I sat too far from the stage and I am senile).

I felt ashamed of myself. I felt that I didn't be professional at all to someone who is professional, in easier term, improper. Since that day, I stalked him to know what he was doing. I admit I love seeing his posts, he is great in Malay literature, which is quite surprising there are still someone like him in this era. Apart from his active involvement in co-curriculum yet he still ace in curriculum. He has the leadership that not all people can have and maybe just a few people have. I finally knew he was somebody, not a regular one.

I never talked to him, of course who am I to talking to a person like him. I secretly admire him. He became my idol as he always give positive vibes not only to the students but also to the public. I did try to speak to him (as I usual do to other people-networking) but I don't have enough courage to do so.

During last year's convocation festival, I performed a flash mob under Theater club. I braved myself to approach him (talked to him a bit even though it was awkward) and got to take a picture with him (I took picture with my idol uolls).

He was on his last year, and that moment I knew I wouldn't be meeting him again (of course I maybe still but he isn't leading anymore, I guess).

A few months ago, I dreamed of giving him a pluck of red rose along with a letter or greetings card (somehow I confused). Previous days was his graduation day. On Sunday, I went to the convocation festival for rehearsal. I saw him. I didn't know why I was panicked when our eyes met. He was just passing by me while I was standing beside the stage. It was like when you meet your old crush? Kinda. I expected he will be there during the festival opening so I planned on giving him like I did in the dream, yes I know it was crazy. I asked a few of my batch mates to help me to write the greetings card for him. During the opening, I didn't see him. Sadly it was true.

But the story doesn't end here. I knew he would graduate the next day, but I couldn't come to Dewan Besar just to wait for him and give him the flower instead of I have classes. I know, it it sad.
The next day, I thought he is no more in UTeM and I was in charge for Karaoke Competition. Surprisingly, I saw him. Yes. But he was busy meeting other MPP students and whoever knows him. So, I did nothing plus I didn't bring the greetings card I made so I decided not to make the dream comes true. A few hours later, he walked past the stage. As I was busy managing the event, I didn't approach him. Then he came again, for the third time and sat under the tent facing the stage.

I talked to my friend that I will buy him flower. I was standing beside the stage. I took my purse from my bag and ran through the tent to the flower booths. The first booth run out of flower (only fake flower left). I ran to the neighbour booth and asked the seller whether they sell a pluck of flower or not. She asked me how about red colour and I agreed. When I was about to pay, I found out that I was out of cash. I ran back to the side of the stage through the tent he was sitting under and  asked my friend for a few bucks. I ran back to the flower booth and paid the flower. I was breathless asking the seller whether they provide cards or not. Thank god they do, I wrote 'Congratulation idolaku' (I think I forgot the s after 'congratulation' and also jotted my name. Without checking the condition of the flower, I ran to him. I was totally nervous. He was sitting with other MPP students which some of them recognize my face. Hurriedly, I gave him the flower. Finally. I said "Khairul Nizam, tahniah", I heard he said thank you while receiving the flower and I ran back to the side of the stage. I felt relieved yet still startled. I continue getting in-charge with the event. Done. I'm not sure whether this is the end, but for this episode, it is.

I didn't have the courage to do so but my mum, Ummi convinced me to just do it. Plus, we will not going to meet again (probably). There's a little more. But I will edit (add and correct grammer) soon as I have class at 2.30p.m. and in hurry. Thank you for spending your time reading.